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If you have five minutes please watch this video about an autistic man with a photographic memory. The autistic mind amazes me. I think we have so much still to learn about autism especially when I see things like this.

For the person from St. Louis who found my blog by googling “i’m poor i want a webkinz secret code”, if you find me again and are truly poor I will buy you a Webkinz. My only question is if you are truly poor then how do you afford internet access? Do you use a school computer?

Here’s what has been going on with me since I last posted.

We had a nice Thanksgiving. I managed to get through the long weekend without gaining any weight so that’s always a good thing. The kid’s had a great time with our Thanksgiving traditions. There was the annual Thanksgiving pinata and here is a photo of the First Place Turkey Winners.

Friday morning we drove to Kansas City for nonstop wedding activities. My ovaries are still hurting from being squeezed into control top pantyhose all weekend. I managed to not fall on my ass in my new high heel shoes but my dogs are still barking from wearing them all weekend. Madeline was completely embarrassed to see her mom dance. I had to remind her that I may seem old to her but I’m still a cool mom. I wear cool clothes, cool shoes, and I can still dance (although my legs totally ached the next day but I didn’t share that with her). I thought I looked pretty good too until I looked at the photos from the reception. I’m better off never seeing photos of myself. They are such a self esteem killer.

Connor did a great job as the ring bearer. We weren’t sure if he and the flower girl would actually walk down the aisle. They were a bit confused by the whole concept. He called himself the ring berry and the flower girl was mad that Connor would get to dress up as a bear and she had to wear a stupid dress. When I first asked Connor if he was going to do it he agreed to it as long as he didn’t have to kiss the bride. With positive reinforcement and bribery the two of them walked down the aisle. It was darling! During the ceremony Connor fell asleep in one of his aunt’s arms. She was worried about whether or not she should wake him up for the recessional. He was snoring so she decided to let him sleep but as soon as he heard the applause he hopped up and grabbed his pillow. With his hair sticking up and looking half asleep he stumbled back up the aisle just as he did during the rehearsal. I didn’t get to see him because I was in the lobby with Marigrace who got fussy during the ceremony. I hope the videographer caught it on film because I hear it was quite funny. A remote control helicopter can be quite the motivator!

Today Connor told his teacher that he “went to Tennessee to get married and kissed Emma.” Poor thing. I wonder when he’ll figure out that he didn’t get married. I have no idea where Tennessee came from.

Now we’re back and I’m feeling stressed and overwhelmed. I haven’t started Christmas shopping yet, I need to decorate the inside of the house, and catch up on reading my favorite blogs. I also need to purge our playroom of toys to make room for the new Christmas crap. There’s a possibility that I’ll have my surgery before Christmas which means I need all this done ASAP. How does everyone make time for blogging? Does blog traffic decrease this time of year?

Lastly, does anyone know of a world record that Isabelle could break? She has become obsessed with it. Today she decided on breaking the record for the longest gum chewing but quit after a couple of hours. Now she wants to have the most stuffed animals which means we need about 4,000 more to break the record. Is there a world record book of just kids?

My kids came in the kitchen and performed a rap number for me. Yes, that would be underwear on their heads. Isabelle declared that they were “hanksters”. I think she meant “gangsters” but I didn’t dare correct her. Where do they learn this crap? Isabelle even had down all the moves. Lord help me!

Look at Isabelle in the background. Should I be worried? Is this my girly girl?

Luckily Connor isn’t any good at gangster moves.

They’re even teaching the baby!

Gratuitous baby photo

I’m a sucker for a sleeping baby photo.

Side note: While typing this I completely freaked out because a bug crawled out of my sleeve. I must have been quite a sight. I jumped up, screaming like a little girl, and stripped off my clothes right here in the kitchen. Scared the crap out of poor Marigrace. I still feel like bugs are crawling on me so I’m hitting the shower. What is going on around here?!

While shopping at Target I found this on display:

It stopped me in my tracks (pun intended). This is the cutest friggin thing I’ve seen in a long time. I petted her, fed her carrots, and now I’m home and can’t stop thinking about her. I think Santa will be putting her under the tree this year. Madeline has begged for a horse for years but I keep saying no since I’m already the zookeeper for our dog, two rabbits, two hamsters, two tadpoles that refuse to become frogs, and fish. I have no desire to add cleaning up horse poop to my list of chores. Do you think this will suffice?

The commercial just came on while typing this. That’s an omen that I should buy it, right?

Underwear Girl, here are THE SHOES:

Update
Target does not have any pony’s in stock. In fact no stores have them in stock. Do you know why? Because they are on Ebay. 219 of them! They are selling for as much as $500. Could someone please enlighten me on how this happens? Seems to me that Furreal Friends Butterscotch Pony is this year’s toy scam. Why didn’t Hasbro make enough of them to meet demand? Where did these Ebay sellers get them? Why is this person selling the one she has if she plans to use the proceeds of the one she’s selling to buy one for her daughter. Huh? I refuse to succumb to the pressure. I did two years ago and paid nearly twice the price for a Video Now that broke a few months later. I’m not paying $400 for a pony that they may break or be bored with before Christmas break is over. I refuse to succumb. I refuse to succumb.

My brain’s moving slow today. Okay, so it moves slow everyday. I am blonde AND Polish. What do you expect? Anyhoo, as usual I’m on the ‘puter while Marigrace naps. After only ten minutes of sleep I heard her start crying on the baby monitor. Initially I ignored her hoping she would fall back asleep but she didn’t after a few minutes so I went and checked on her. She was sound asleep. Odd. I figured she must have just cried out in her sleep. A few minutes later the crying started again. Once again I checked on her and she was sound asleep but there was still crying on the monitor when I came back in the kitchen. Am I going crazy? It dawned on me that I was picking up someone else’s kid. I know this happens but I’ve only had it happen to me one other time.

This kid has been crying off and on for 45 minutes and yes I’m totally eavesdropping. Obviously this kid’s mommy wants her to take a nap and the kid wants no part of it. She has cried, screamed, and rocks her bed against the wall. Mommy comes in every 10 minutes and talks way nicer than I would if my kid was playing this game with me. I can’t understand everything mommy is saying but I cracked up when I heard her say “I’ll be right back”. I’ve used that trick too. It sucks when it stops working. After a few minutes the kid figured out that mommy isn’t coming right back and started screaming again. Mommy went back in, still talking nice and I heard her mention a train which she turned on. Mommy leaves and the kids goes back to screaming. Several minutes later she’s back in with a banana and uses the “I’ll be right back” excuse again. The kid ate the banana then resorted back to screaming. This mommy has been back in that room at least five times already. My God I can’t take it anymore! Mommy needs to either let her cry it out or pick her up and try again later because she lost this battle. She’ll keep losing them too if she continues to handle it this way. Not that I’m an expert but I did this with my first and now she’s a manipulative eight year old who will throw tantrums to try and get her way. I do feel bad about eavesdropping. It’s like I’m hiding in her house. I must admit though I’m curious if the kid does actually go to sleep or play quietly for longer than 10 minutes.

I laugh at the thought of someone picking up my house on their monitor. I’m sure it was interesting.

I’ve lived up to my slacker name today. Connor fell asleep last night in the car so I put him straight to bed with his school uniform still on. I sent him to school today in the same uniform. It still looked clean!

Yesterday I got to spend the entire day shopping BY MYSELF! While I was getting gussied up I let Marigrace play with my make-up bag. This has been a great way to keep her entertained while I put my face on. She eventually got bored so I put her in the t.v. room with my other kids. I finished blow drying my hair and then cleaned up the make-up she had dumped out of my bag. That’s when I noticed that I had a lipstick cap but no lipstick tube. I couldn’t find it anywhere and then it dawned on me where it could be. In Marigrace’s hands! I ran in the t.v. room to find her missing but it wasn’t hard to find her. I just followed the lipstick hand prints to find this:

Even the dog had lipstick on! It did not come off of her easily because I use the kind that stays on until I take it off. Luckily I was able to get it out of the carpet by using Krud Kutter. Awesome stuff for these kinds of messes. I get it from Target.

I found the whole thing funny once the mess was cleaned up. Surprisingly she didn’t eat as much lipstick as it appeared. She must have tried putting it on like I do. Lord knows she has seen me apply it enough to know what it’s for. The sucky thing is in the middle of cleaning up I threw the lipstick tube away. It was a new shade because Revlon has decided to change the colors and type of tube on me. After much trial and error I found a color I like almost as much as the plum color I’ve been wearing for YEARS. I’m still bitter about it though. Finding the perfect shade of lipstick is not an easy task. I could not remember the name of the shade and got only as far as the coffee grounds, poopy diaper, and weeks old chili because the smell was gagging me. Of all days I decide to rid the fridge of leftovers! So I never did figure out what shade it was and I’m not completely satisfied with the shade I ended up buying. I did find something to wear to the wedding next weekend though and I got to go shopping by myself for HOURS.

To cap off the day Isabelle who is six has informed that if you kiss a boy three times you will get pregnant. I asked where she heard such thing? “From Katie” she replied. Katie happens to be the sister of the little boy who taught my kids the word “dick”. Hmmmmm?

I want to thank everyone who left supportive comments in regards to my car anxiety that I wrote about in this post. Hubby read the post and comments. I think he needed to see that I’m not the only mom who freaks out about car safety. After reading it he came and found me to give me a hug. He apologized for nearly giving me a panic attack during our last road trip. We have another road trip next week and this time I’m either driving or sitting in the back. I’ll keep a couple Xanax in my pocket just in case. I never imagined my blog would become a way to communicate with my hubby. I was actually planning to call a family council this weekend to discuss the driving issue. Although we’ve reached an understanding on this issue I still plan to have family council this weekend. We haven’t had one in a couple of months and when I started it I had planned on doing it once a month. Our family life is so hectic and our council has been a great way to communicate about what is and isn’t working in our family. My sis has reminded me that our dad was big on family meetings while we were growing up. I know I boohoo a lot about my shitty childhood but this is one thing my dad did right.

I highly encourage parents to have family meetings or council if you aren’t already. It really helps keep us connected especially since our family is so busy with after school activities and homework. There is so much emphasis on eating as a family and we fall short in this area. There are only a couple nights during the week that we are all home for dinner. I’ll be honest, my kids eat in front of the t.v. while hubby and I eat together at the table. This is the time for us to catch up with each other because after dinner we split up the parenting duties. He does baths while I do homework. We take turns putting the kids to bed and then I hop on the ‘puter and he succumbs to his cave to watch the History Channel. We eat as a family on the weekends though. Saturday nights we go out to dinner after 4:00 mass and always eat together at the table on Sundays. This is when we usually have family council unless someone calls for an emergency council. My kids really enjoy it. We first go around the table saying something kind about each family member so everyone is feeling warm and fuzzy. Then we go around and share whatever issues we are having with each other and formulate a plan to improve family life. Often we find out about issues they are concerned about that we probably would not have known about without family council.

I’m curious to know how other families handle their meetings. Talk to me.

An easy appetizer for the upcoming holiday gatherings.

Artichoke Pizza

Boboli pizza crust
1 can artichoke hearts, chopped
1 cup mayo
1 cup Parmesan cheese

Mix all ingredients. Spread on top of Boboli crust. Bake for approx. ten minutes in 350 degree oven. Cut into squares and serve.

Thirteen Things On My Mind

1. The smug hairless man that I met on Blog That Mommy. I think I dated him before I was married.
2. The post I was supposed to write in honor of Momish who I nominated for Izzy and Mommy Off The Record’s ROTFL Award. Please go read it. Very funny!
3. Wondering when Kevin Charnas is going to post more photos of himself half clothed and in spandex.
4. Hoping I win the October contest with this slideshow. I will be very pissy if I don’t place.
5. Feeling stressed about getting the current slideshow I’m working done by Thanksgiving. My client who is also family keeps sending me more photos and it’s really getting on my nerves!
6. Bummed out that I didn’t lose as much weight as I would have liked for the wedding I’m attending in ten days. Is there a magic pill that will make me skinny by then? I’ve got a really great pair of shoes though. Hopefully everyone will be admiring my shoes rather than judging my fat ass.
7. Need to order Handler’s for my germ freak friends for Christmas.
8. Write a post about my oldest daughter’s ballet mistress. This woman is a piece of work!
9. Trying to decide what to do for this year’s Christmas card photo. Suggestions welcome.
10. Need to list baby stuff on Ebay and Craigslist because I ain’t birthin’ no more babies!
11. Not sure if I should cancel my Kelly’s Kids crap for my rugrats that I ordered back in August and may not ship until next Wednesday. I wanted them to wear the outfits on Thanksgiving and have their photo taken in them for Christmas card. Really has my undies bunched up.
12. Feeling grumpy that I don’t have enough time to catch up on reading blogs.
13. Fantasizing about running away and not being a mom or wife. I’m in need of some serious pampering!

I’m someone who doesn’t believe in coincidences. I think everything happens for a reason especially bad things in order for lessons to be learned, for change to happen, and to allow for grace. I’ve written about this grace before in my 9-11 Remembrance post.

Today I ran across a video that helped affirm that I’m not just a neurotic freak. Well, okay, I am a neurotic freak but on this particular issue I think I have reason to worry about the risk of death or injury to my children in the car. I wrote about how my hubby thinks my car anxiety is a little overboard in my last post. I was really feeling bad about how anxious I got in the car during our road trip and then I saw this video from a mother who lost her three year old son in a car accident. Grab a tissue and watch this video. Kyle did not die in vain. His death has saved and will save many lives by making the public aware of the dangers of improper buckling and buckles that unlatch in accidents. I especially hope those of you who allow your children to not wear their seat belt properly will become more diligent about keeping your children safe in the car. There are many of you, I know. Just over the weekend my friend’s children rode in my car and consistently wore their seat belt improperly or tried to not wear one at all. I’m sure they thought I was mean for getting after them but I’d rather be the meanest mom on the earth if it will keep those who ride in my car safe.

I understand this mom’s plea for us to use five point restraints rather than boosters with shoulder/lap belts but quite honestly I don’t think the general public will use them. Our state recently passed a law that requires children to remain in a booster until age eight, 4 foot 9 inches, or 80 pounds. I only know of one other family besides myself that has moved their children back into booster seats because of the new law. Most people like my hubby don’t think accidents will happen to them because they are a good driver. Also there are only two manufactures that offer a five point restraint booster for children heavier than 40 pounds. The one is the Britax which is an excellent brand with a proven record but it is $249. Most people can’t afford to spend this especially if they need more than one. There are other factors too that affect parental compliance on this issue. It’s a real pain in the ass to get a child’s car seat to another parent who may drive your child or to purchase several seats because dad drives the child to school on the way to work and mom does the pick up. Not too mention older children who sit in boosters are embarrassed in front of peers who do not sit in one. This is a big issue for us. It seems to me that car manufactures could come up with a five point restraint that is attached to the seat. With this type of seat belt I would bet parents and children would be more compliant. I plan to do some research to see if anyone is or has tried to come up with this type of seat belt.

My Xanax is kicking in so I’ll step off my soap box now.

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