Okay, so I’m feeling “normal” again since my surgery and I’ve got a needy, clingy 13 month old who is preventing me from getting anything done. She’s my last and I try very hard to live in this moment because I know it goes way too fast BUT I’m so overwhelmed with catching up on everything I got behind on during my recovery. I forgot how your life revolves around your infant’s schedule. I feel more like a spy than a mom. When she’s busy playing by herself I sneak around her out of fear that she may see me and want to be picked up. I’ve gone as far as throwing her pacifier or a favorite toy in the room to keep her happy before she gets bored and seeks me out. I give her chocolate or fruit snacks so I can go pee by myself or start dinner. I NEVER would have done that with my first two. Then there’s the waiting game. Waiting for it to be nap or bedtime and waiting for her to poop so I can put her down to sleep. Once she’s asleep I dash around trying to get as much as I can done before she awakens. Wouldn’t it be nice if they could tell us how long they plan to nap? I’m afraid to start a big project because I never know if she is going to sleep one or three hours. I’m also a liar. I tell her things are “hot” so she won’t touch them. Poor things. Their entire childhood is full of little parental white lies. My oldest is still traumatized at eight about Santa and the Easter Bunny. I mean really, it’s kind of freaky to think a fat man in a red suit comes in the house while we are sleeping and a giant bunny hops in and hides eggs. I’ve had moments where I wanted to let her off the hook and just tell her the truth so she can sleep without worries. She is going to be very pissed at me when she finds out the truth. Did I mention how I treat my baby like a dog while I have precious ‘puter time? I feed her crackers or cheetos while she sits at my feet. Want to know how I got through having the kids home from school yesterday? I took them to Target and let each of them pick out a new toy so they would have something to do besides fight or whine that they are bored. So there you have it; confessions of how a slacker mom gets through her day. Please don’t judge me too harshly.
Related posts:
I am a self professed slacker mom. I answer to Kristie or slackermommy.
My house is a mess, my kids are obnoxious, and my husband is sexually deprived.
I drive my kids to school in my pj's, I can make a couple of Happy Meals from the floor of my car, my kids eat in front of the television, and I believe a dirty house helps kids have a healthy immune system.
If you can relate then this blog is for you. No sugar coating on my blog. Let's get real about being a mommy, wife, sister, and friend.
You can also find me slacking at:
radioactive girl
January 16th, 2007 at 9:56 am
I think I may be a slacker mom too. My fourth is having such a different childhood experience than my oldest three had!
Oh, The Joys
January 16th, 2007 at 10:01 am
Judge you? Sister, I’m takin’ NOTES.
Lisa
January 16th, 2007 at 10:44 am
Are you kidding? These revelations make me like you even MORE! heehee.
We LOVE Target.
Cece
January 16th, 2007 at 11:54 am
I’m glad to hear you’re feeling better now.
Add me to your Slacker Mom’s Club. Seriously. I’ll let my kids eat cookies for breakfast just to get an extra 10-15 minutes on the ‘puter at home. No permanent damage done…yet.
Mama G
January 16th, 2007 at 4:00 pm
My theory is that most of us are slacker moms - very few of us, however, have the balls to admit it!
Hello, my name is Mama G and I, too, am a slacker mom.
Damn, that feels good!
The Flip Flop Mamma!
January 16th, 2007 at 4:05 pm
I feel ya. I have a 13 month old too. I often times have dodged her in avoidance of the cling!! And if she wakes up from nap and doesn’t see me, she will often go right back to sleep…so I’m often hiding out, or else she pops right up and wants me.
Peg
January 16th, 2007 at 5:02 pm
OMG, girlfriend, Judge you? I was you when my Great One was that age. I totally perfected the ’silent stealth’ for the exact same reason.
I’m a slacker too–yup. As you know, I currently chase my little guy away from me when I’m on the PC by threatening to wipe his nose! LOL
If you ask me, Slacker-mom = Honest, Real, & Funny Mom!
Best,
Peg
ewe are here
January 16th, 2007 at 5:05 pm
I bent over backwards this evening to prevent a meltdown. So I’m with you completely.
mama_miga
January 16th, 2007 at 5:49 pm
On my desperate days I pull out the sofa bed and let them watch a movie and eat a snack. Other days, I just sick them on each other and then run and hide in the computer room. My husband was really wanting to know what comment I left you the other day that you found funny. Thankfully, he overlooked the link to your comments!
Good to see you’re feeling better!
crazymumma
January 16th, 2007 at 8:39 pm
I like your style gal. And I am so glad to hear you are feeling better.
Slackermommy's Sister
January 16th, 2007 at 9:24 pm
You wrote that so well! Glad to see slackerdom is not just a family trait. The sad thing is I do all that stuff with my one year old and she is only my second!! I better stop while I am ahead. Glad you are back to your old self- I have missed you!!
Terri
January 17th, 2007 at 9:54 pm
I found your blog of of Underwear Girl!
You’re blog is great, too…
I love it… can’t wait to put the baby to bed so I can come back and read some more!
Take care Slacker!
Hee hee!!
Terri ~ Las Vegas
Dixiechick
January 18th, 2007 at 10:37 am
I KNOW that I’m the slacker mom too so why would I JUDGE you???? I’ve been a slacker mom now for 17 years… Love it!
Frannie Farmer
January 19th, 2007 at 1:02 am
Ha - judge you harshly? I think not honey .. I am you, right down to feeding those crackers to a babe at my feet :O)
Mert
January 19th, 2007 at 9:32 am
OMG, ROFL! We have a lot in common, you and I!
Your bookmark just skipped the “Blogs” and the “Fav Blogs” bookmark folders and went straight to the “Favorite Fav Blogs” folder. :O)
Besides chocolate, Target is my other crack. I am totally addicted, the dollar section makes me all tingly and woozy.
The Chocolate button looks awesome in your side bar, glad you liked it.
Bubba
January 19th, 2007 at 10:48 am
I’m glad to see you recovering well…even though you’ve had a few bumps in the road.
Hope things continue to go well!
Pattie
January 19th, 2007 at 5:54 pm
Heheheh…I’m a slacker mom, too, and proud of it. *LOL*
So glad to hear you are feeling better! Woo hoo!
Ms.L
January 20th, 2007 at 3:09 pm
Aww,the good old days,lol
Can I join the club too!?
Looney Mom
January 20th, 2007 at 9:17 pm
You do know that “Slacker Lame-o” is my nickname right? I totally get it! And YAY!!! I’m so glad you’re feeling like well. Was it worth it though? You are certainly brave. Miss you.
Linka72
January 23rd, 2007 at 1:52 pm
Hell, the TV used to be my babysitter and I came out just fine..I think
Nutty Mummy
January 28th, 2007 at 5:27 am
Hey - just popped over here for the first time and read through a coupla your posts..
Please don’t stress - altho I;m sure you’re not after all the comments of solidarity but —
Rowan (my 2 year old) probably thinks everything in the house is hot by now. She’s a fiddler through and through and cannot resist touching plug sockets, light switches anything electrical - it’s been very hard thus far just to stop her electrocuting herself.
Her standard reponse to ‘no don’t touch that’ is
‘ouch hot, hurt you, cry’
‘yes’ I say ‘yes, hurt you, cry’ as I cradle the laptop away from her grabby hands
Sierra
February 10th, 2007 at 2:46 am
That is too funny! I also have a 13-month old baby girl who, if not clingy is demanding my attention to keep her from doin’ a superman off the kitchen table. She is my only one and I gotta tell ya, it is a full-time job to keep her out of trouble and keep my sanity at the same time. Thanks for the laughs.
Anonymous
February 16th, 2007 at 11:29 am
I got this email and it made me laugh out loud - daughter in law rant about mother in law and costco - http://motherinlawvent.typepad.com