What’s wrong with my kids?
16Apr2007 Filed under: desperate housewives, drama, kids, parenting Author: slackermommyA few days ago I wondered what was wrong with people. Today I’m wondering what’s wrong with my kids. Yesterday my three oldest were playing together in the front yard. They were awful quiet. It had been at least ten minutes since one of them summoned me to referee a fight so I peeked out the window to check on them. What did I find? To my horror I caught my oldest running around with her pants down in the front yard for all neighbor’s to see! I screamed for them to get their little behinds in the house, NOW! They immediately came running because they knew they were in trouble. Totally busted. They were playing Truth or Dare and dared each other to run around the yard with their pants down. I was mortified. It wasn’t until later that night after I calmed down that I was able to laugh about it. Where’s the modesty? Did the neighbors see? Are my kids going to be labeled “the bad kids”? What the Hell were they thinking? Shouldn’t my oldest, Madeline had known better? I don’t know why I’m so shocked considering Madeline is the child who dropped her pants and shit in the yard like a damn dog when she was six. At least that was in the BACK yard. Some days I’m just not so sure that I’m up for this parenting gig. Please tell me your kids have done things like this. I can’t be the only one.
Don’t forget to vote for me. Not that I think I’ll win but my ego is needing a little stroking today.
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34 Responses to “What’s wrong with my kids?”
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About this blog
I am a self professed slacker mom. I answer to Kristie or slackermommy.
My house is a mess, my kids are obnoxious, and my husband is sexually deprived.
I drive my kids to school in my pj's, I can make a couple of Happy Meals from the floor of my car, my kids eat in front of the television, and I believe a dirty house helps kids have a healthy immune system.
If you can relate then this blog is for you. No sugar coating on my blog. Let's get real about being a mommy, wife, sister, and friend.
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dodo
April 16th, 2007 at 10:02 am
sorry. would love to tell you she’s done that, but she hasn’t. i’m sure she will, though. and worse. much much worse. in very public places. We don’t have a front yard so it will be somewhere like a huge swanky store or in front of dozens of other parents from our neighbourhood. I promise! you’ll be the first to know.
dodo
April 16th, 2007 at 10:05 am
speaking of things ‘wrong’ with kids, have any of yours mysteriously chipped a front tooth and claim no recollection of the smack in the mouth incident that caused it?
MotoMom
April 16th, 2007 at 11:20 am
A few years ago my kids were a few doors down playing at a neighbors house. I heard them come in, yelling that they were getting their swimsuits so they could play in the neighbor’s pool. I gave them towels and saw them leave my house with their suits on. Later that afternoon my neighbor brought over their clothes. Apparenntly they were so excited the stripped naked at her house and came running home for their suits.
Pendullum
April 16th, 2007 at 11:59 am
Wow… Now thatisclassic…
The only ‘revenge’ you have is that you will always have, are when these moments tcan be revisited when the suitors come a callin’
And I am sosorry that I am laughing at your expense… I truly am not going to win for best blogger buddy on this post…
Anonymous
April 16th, 2007 at 12:33 pm
ok, don’t know how I found your blog, but yes my son also shit in our backyard, and no I do not live on a farm.And somehow I spared him his life.
Lisa
April 16th, 2007 at 1:08 pm
I could so see you saying this as I was reading it (about your oldest) and I was cracking up.
My nephews have been known to pee on the tires of my parents’, my brother’s and my vehicles. Right in front of us. THen the dad laughs because he told them to go do that…
Also, I’ll give you something to feel better about. My sis got wasted at my brother’s wedding and then chewed out the maid of honor’s boyfriend because she thought he should be watching her children! She was a drunken mess and made a scene. My sis will be 33. Clearly old enough to know better than to do something so stupid.
So at least your daughter hasn’t done that.
Lisa
April 16th, 2007 at 1:10 pm
Oh the nephews are my sis’s kids. The guy who told them to pee on people’s vehicles. Their father.
I want to say something but I won’t….
AuburnGalAlways
April 16th, 2007 at 1:36 pm
We live way off the road in a rural area, so even if my kids did streak around NEKKID, no one would see them.
Besides, we’re the kind of rednecks that potty train boys by letting them pee outside and see how far they can pee!
Yeah, we’re cool!
Multi-tasking Mommy
April 16th, 2007 at 3:05 pm
That is hilarious, although I admit, I probably would have reacted the same way you did and laugh later.
tAnYeTTa
April 16th, 2007 at 4:57 pm
hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love love love this story
Terri
April 16th, 2007 at 7:19 pm
DOHHHHHH…
MAJOR PARTY FOUL!
all I can say is…
ruh roh!!!
Momish
April 16th, 2007 at 9:14 pm
That sounds like typical child play to me. Of course, I was strange kid and half my friends are freaks too.
My girlfriend’s daughter also took a pooh on her back porch. “Just like the doggie” she said proudly!
Burg
April 16th, 2007 at 10:06 pm
My daughter has taken up the habit of picking her nose and then wiping it on the front of her shirt. How’s that for advertising??
Thanks for the BCA nomination!
Carrie
April 17th, 2007 at 12:58 am
I think it is something kids would usually do without their parents or anyone in authority. Others are probably worse than that. This doesn’t mean parents are worse too.
Oh, The Joys
April 17th, 2007 at 6:50 am
You know, one has to wonder if that is your DNA or your husband’s, right?
Ha ha!
Just kidding.
The "Mind"
April 17th, 2007 at 8:47 am
They haven’t done that specifically, but they’ve each had their own incidences of stupidity where I wonder what they were thinking.
Like the time my oldest popped a neighbor kid’s bike tire.
Or the time the middle one carved bad words in someone’s Celotex covered garage. (Celotex is a foil-shelled foam insulation board, as you can imagine, you can carve whatever you want into it with a stick quite well.)
Or the time the youngest decided to trek out onto the partially frozen over lake.
Kids are impulsive and you just never know what they’ll do next.
Jenn
April 17th, 2007 at 10:10 am
Ahahahaha!! I can barely keep clothes on my youngest, and she’s six. She’s all wood nymph, thankfully, we have no neighbors to see her daily streak show. And when we open the pool? Yeah, it’s skinny dipping all season long. She goes in with bathing suit, comes out nude.
A couple of weeks ago we were at a friend’s house, they have a boy her age. She came home that night, got undressed to take a bath and had no panties on. “Where’d your panties go?” I asked. She revealed the little boy stole her panties. Yes, stole them. How? Apparently they were playing in the creek in the woods and she got naked so her clothes wouldn’t get wet and he swiped her Curious George underpants. Children are strange.
Jenster
April 17th, 2007 at 10:55 am
LOL! I remember watching my kids and the neighbor kids running through the sprinklers in our front yard. First time I looked out made me all warm and fuzzy, they were so cute. Second time I looked out I was mortified. My daughter was completely nekkid! Of course, she was only four, but still!! The other kids didn’t even seem to care.
Jennifer
April 17th, 2007 at 1:00 pm
Sadly, I did something very similar as a kid. And I was a good kid!
You can use this juicy morsel as blackmail one day…..
Frannie Farmer
April 17th, 2007 at 1:04 pm
Oh so could happen at at Chateaus Farmer … my children are that bold!
Looney Mom
April 17th, 2007 at 3:29 pm
You’re not the only one… trust me. LOL!
Tabba
April 17th, 2007 at 3:38 pm
The closest thing they do to that is stand in our big, front window nekkid, or scantily clad…for all the world to see.
That’s pretty close, right?
Sort of?
Sorry. Probably not much help.
You gotta laugh or you’ll kill someone
BarnGoddess
April 17th, 2007 at 4:11 pm
I laughed out loud reading this.
too funny!!
I doubt your kids are the only ones streaking thru yards.
Dont worry.
Bob
April 17th, 2007 at 9:21 pm
Don’t worry because I’ve seen others kids out in their yard without any clothes. This doesn’t mean that their parents are all bad. It’s probably the way kids act during thier early years
Miga
April 17th, 2007 at 11:34 pm
Thank goodness it isn’t just mine! My daughter was outside doing chores and when I looked out the window to check on her, she was crouched in the bushes, taking a dump. Apparently she couldn’t be bothered to come in to use the bathroom. (I’ve never told anyone that before)
Caleb has no sense of modesty either. While my MIL was visiting he came out the bathroom, completely naked, shaking his penis at his grandmother and yelling “PENIS PENIS PENIS”. No wonder she thinks we’re all going to hell….
Phara Thomas
April 18th, 2007 at 6:15 am
You should go read the post about my son…not plugging, just empathizing. Although he wasn’t naked at the time. Love your layout. This is my first time here.
sparksfley
April 19th, 2007 at 6:17 pm
While they haven’t yet pulled their pants down, Joseph my oldest learned what his penis is (he had started peeing in the toilet and we had to differentiate between peepee and penis). So later we go to the grocery store, and he greeted every.single.person. with “Hi! I have a penis in my shorts!” Every.single.person.
Mamacita
April 19th, 2007 at 7:45 pm
My youngest used to shit in the bathtub, to her sister’s chagrin. The little floater would just bob up around her tub chair and her sister would scream and quickly evacuate…the water…
Mikala
April 20th, 2007 at 10:31 am
LOL I’m so sorry, but I can’t help but not laugh…
Queen of the Mayhem
April 22nd, 2007 at 2:14 pm
Junior Mayhem is on an outside urination jag. At the ball park, I am trying to watch The Princess play and I hear hysterical laughter. I turn around, only to see JM shining his stuff to everyone and tee-teeing….LOVELY! Definitely one of my PROUDER mommy moments!
Twisted Cinderella
April 23rd, 2007 at 8:06 am
What a riot! Mine is only five and hasn’t yet done anything of that sort, but I am pretty sure if I saw my neighbours kids doing something similar my reaction would be, “Oh my, I wonder if I should tell their mother what they are up to.” Kids will be kids.
maggie
April 23rd, 2007 at 9:54 am
LOL. NO my kids haven’t done exactly that but close enough for me to be labeled. Believe me my son has done worse.
Jaelithe
April 25th, 2007 at 9:31 pm
When I was 16, my little brother, who was four, escaped from his bath and ran around naked in front of a group of like 15 of my friends who had come over to my house to watch movies.
I was totally mortified.
My friends thought it was hilarious.
These days I do too.
A couple of months ago, I saw a boy who looked to be about five years old drop his pants and pee in a Burger King parking lot. His poor mother was trying to wrangle two smaller children and couldn’t get to him in time to stop him.
I think this might actually be pretty normal behavior. Kids don’t have the shame about their bodies that we adults do. Society hasn’t indoctrinated it into them yet.
Sierra
April 27th, 2007 at 11:59 pm
I love that kids are so free and curious. I would be puzzled if you never experienced some episode like this. I think that everyone with an adventurous spirit has pushed the limits of social acceptence. Good for you for setting some boundaries. Don’t let the fact that the boundaries are pushed get you down, it only confirms that the kids know where they are and have the courage to push them.