There certainly is a lot of drama in my life right now. I’ve got my father trying to guilt his way back into my life and a troll who put me in a bad mood. Although my mood has greatly improved with the help of my sister and blogging friends.

My beloved dog, Sonny who is ten is not doing well. He has a cough and is bleeding from the nose. A constant trickle that won’t stop. I’m having all kinds of tests done and so far his doctors have found a mass in his nasal cavity. I’m taking him to a specialist who can determine if it’s a fungal infection or a tumor. I’m just sick about it. Sonny was my first baby. We got him a few months before we were married. During my first pregnancy Sonny would take naps with me on the couch with his head on my belly. He has been the best dog. I am not ready to let him go yet. My family will be crushed. Although Marigrace is only a toddler she will miss him too. She loves curling up next to him and sharing her snacks. If it is a tumor I’m being told that he would respond well to radiation and it would extend his life about another 13 months. So I’m hopeful, praying that it’s a fungal infection which would be easier to treat.

My other drama is with Madeline. We are taking the kids on a vacation and we leave tomorrow. My hubby got a two bedroom condo because he’s hoping for a sexcation. We are flying. Madeline is afraid of flying. We flew last summer and she got a little anxious. Her anxiety and tics have greatly reduced since then so we decided to fly again. She was okay with it until tonight. The excitement of our vacation is stressing her out. She currently has a coughing tic. My hubby didn’t realize it was a tic and made a comment to her about needing medicine. Drawing attention to her tics causes her to tic more. Especially under times of stress. It didn’t help that she saw the weather prediction of storms tomorrow. She flipped out, coughing uncontrollably until she threw up. She panicked, cried that she won’t get on the plane if it storms. It kills me to see her so fearful. I felt so helpless.

I gave her Benadryl and had her lie in my bed with a movie. I asked her questions about the movie to help take her mind off her fear that the plane is going to crash. She continued to cough and puke. Trying to reason with a child who is having a panic attack is not easy. She was a little comforted by squeezing my hand. I suggested that when she has these worries she can squeeze my hand and all her worries will travel to me so I can do the worrying for her. She seemed to like that idea. With the Benadryl kicking in and some deep breathing she coughed less. I acted silly and we laughed a little bit before she finally passed out. Then I went in the bathroom and cried.

It’s so sad to see her have these worries and difficulties at such a young age. Even though I have moments of not coping I firmly believe God only gives you what you can handle. I can handle this. I don’t want to have to handle it but it is what it is. All those years of providing therapy and support to my mother were preparation for this.

We are going to do our best to have a stress free morning since Madeline feeds off our stress. I’m going to give her Benadryl before the flight and pray she doesn’t have a coughing fit panic attack on the plane. I know she will feel so much better about it if the flight is smooth. I’ve noticed that her fear of things is the worst when she’s preparing to do something scary. Once she’s doing it she’s fine. It’s the damn worrying that’s getting to her. She’s done a great job of pushing through her fears. She’s afraid of elevators but will get on them. Last year she was terrified of amusement park rides and this year we can’t keep her off of them. I’m proud of her for trying the things she is afraid of. They are never as scary as she imagines them to be.

Wish us luck. Prayers are appreciated. I won’t be back blogging for a week so I hope you don’t forget me. I’m going to leave you with a funny story rather than all this drama.

This past Wednesday I went to a blogging seminar with Lisa and met all these cool people. We got a little lost on the way which made us a few minutes late. They had already started the seminar when we got there. I made Lisa walk in ahead of me because I’m a chicken. Karma bit me in the ass for it. I had one of those moments that seem to only happen to me. Like the time I wiped out in a quiet auditorium filled with a thousand people but I’ll save that story for another post.

We quietly found a seat next to Rebecca. I decided to turn off my phone because I could see my kids calling me to ask me a dumb question like what kind of chair I was sitting in. Some how I managed to put my phone on speaker as it called my voicemail. I have no idea how it happened. It’s never happened before. I was frantically trying to turn my phone off while my messages were being played for all to hear. I could feel everyone looking at me. I gave a meek “I’m sorry”. The mediator responded with a request for everyone to turn their phones off. Every one seemed to find it funny except for her. Smooth move, huh? It’s so typical of something I would do.

I’m off to bed now. It’s been an exhausting couple of days and I have a much needed vacation waiting for me.

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