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Boy, have I missed my blog and all my blogging friends. I didn’t mean to stay away for so long. Life just became overwhelming. I had moments where I felt like I should just hit the delete key so my neglected blog wouldn’t feel like such a monkey on my back. I’m still having moments where I’m not so sure how I will ever fit blogging back in my life. I don’t know how other moms of 4+ kids (or really any mom) are finding the time but I would love to know because I just can’t find a balance so something in my life doesn’t have to suffer in order to find time to blog. My biggest issue is feeling so trapped in my life which I feel guilty about. My life is good. I have a sweet, hard working husband who has provided me with a very comfortable lifestyle. I have four great kids, several girlfriends I can really count on, and a sister who is the bestest friend I could ask for. I should feel happier but most of the time I feel overworked, unappreciated, and wishing for more hours in a day.

My little funk began when I received an invite for the infamous J&J Camp Baby. An all expense paid trip with some of my favorite blogging friends? Three days away from the demands of my hubby and kids? I was so in. Except by the time I was able to secure childcare the camp had met its guest quota. Too bad, too sad.

This is when I had my first moment of feeling trapped within the confines of family life. You know you need a mommy break when you can relate with Chelsea Handler’s character on one of the In The Motherhood webisodes where she tells a policeman that maybe she does want to go to jail just so she can be alone.

I was angry with my husband because I felt that he should have offered to stay home with our kids if I couldn’t find childcare. I so rarely ask him to take time off from work to help with the kids and I’m quickly growing resentful of the fact that in order for me to do anything I have to find childcare when he is free to make his plans knowing that I’m always here to be with the kids. It feels terribly unfair. My hubby realized how unfair this is when I made a tearful comment that I did not know I would have to give up my life in order to be a mom. He tried making it up to me by offering to fly me out to see my sister but he was missing the point. These free trips don’t come around often and I wanted to feel like he valued me and my job being a mom enough to tell me he would make sure the childcare was covered so I could get away.

So I didn’t go and my life got increasingly busier over the next few weeks and won’t slow down again until the end of school. Just keeping up with the house, laundry, homework, running errands, cooking meals, carpool, and servicing the hubby take up a full day. I sacrifice sleep to fit in the things I like to do such as reading, blogging, and playing on the computer. My oldest is a competitive dancer and spring time is when I have to shift into stage mom mode. She has two competitions and a recital every spring. This year she is in eight numbers which means eight costumes and everyone of them needed some altering or embellishing. She had her first competition this past weekend and I am sharing videos of the dress rehearsals on YouTube.

I also have several blogging projects in the works if I can ever find enough time to commit to any of them fully. The latest endeavor is The St. Louis Bloggers Guild which I can’t honestly take any credit for but I plan to take a more active role in the very near future.

I have also put my mommy guilt aside and have found an in-home daycare for Marigrace twice a week so I can free up some time for much needed “me” time. I’m going to make an effort to pamper myself more. What I have realized over the last few weeks is if I don’t value myself then neither will anyone else.

Hopefully you will see me around more often. I really have missed you and this blogging gig. Thanks to all of you who checked in on me. It’s nice to feel missed.

At least I am in my mind so imagine my excitement to find my name in People magazine. Not just once but twice!

I can’t wait to get my People this Friday and look for where they put my name this week. I realize it’s just an advertisement so please don’t burst my bubble. My kids think it’s very cool. In fact Connor told his teacher that his mom was in a magazine and they asked him to bring it in for show and tell. I giggle at the thought of Connor passing these two pages around and all the kids thinking how cool it is that his mom is famous. At least until the one smarty pants kid announces that his mom is also in People magazine.

I don’t know who came up with this marketing ad but I think it’s brilliant.

I mentioned a week ago that I had boudior photos taken for my hubby for our tenth wedding anniversary and now I want to share the experience with you. It was too fantastic to not talk talk about it.

After serving it’s purpose and giving me four healthy babies I opted to have my lovely heart shaped uterus removed last December. It was no longer needed and the discomfort it was causing me was not worth keeping it around. While on the operating table I had the docs fix up my tummy and pump up my boobs. The results are quite nice and I feel pretty good about how I look so I not only did the photos for my hubby but also myself.

I was nervous about it though and nearly chickened out. I’m really hard on myself and usually hate how I look in photos. Lisa, the photographer I chose is quite gifted and not only did she make me feel good she made me look good.

I spent quite a bit of time looking for a photographer. I nearly gave up. The sample photos that I looked at seemed so cheesy and sleazy. I wanted to look sexy but in an artistic way rather than looking like I was posing for Fredericks of Hollywood. Don’t get me wrong, I love Fredericks. I have several pieces of their lingerie (I have a lingerie and pajama fetish) but that wasn’t the look I was going for. I didn’t want to look back at these photos ten or twenty years from now and feel embarrassed.

I found Nordmann Photography and for the first time the thought of bringing my idea to fruition seemed like a good idea. I viewed her gallery of photos and one of the groupings was of a curvy woman. I figured she probably had cellulite but there wasn’t a trace of it in the photos. She was flawlessly beautiful. I’m a curvy woman which means in addition to my big boobs and hips I also have a big booty and thighs. I didn’t want my cellulite and stretch marks magnified in the photos. Lisa assured me that with the right poses, lighting, and photoshop she could hide my imperfections.

I met Lisa at her studio on the day of the shoot. I joked about walking down the street with my stripper clothes and I think my ability to poke fun at myself helped us to feel more comfortable.

A little FYI if you ever have boudoir photos taken; don’t bring your lingerie in a clear hanging bag or at the last minute stuff your stilettos in a too small purse. Parking was limited that day and I had to walk past several business establishments to reach her studio. Uh yeah, that was a little embarrassing.

Lisa spent two hours photographing me. The first few minutes were awkward as I posed in my nightie in front of a stranger but Lisa quickly made me feel at ease. The conversation flowed easily and we could have probably talked all day. It wasn’t hard to feel sexy with Lisa calling me beautiful and with her obvious excitement about loving what she does. For some photos she directed a fan at me so my hair would blow. It’s amazing how a fan and blowing hair can make you feel like a supermodel.

I viewed the photos a week later on a huge screen at her shop. It was a bit weird at first to see myself larger than life on a huge screen. I’m not crazy about seeing photos of myself because I’m so much hotter in my mind. Talk about a slap of reality. But these were beautiful. So much better than I expected. I went into the viewing thinking that it would be hard to pick ten that I liked. Instead, out of 96 photos I had a hard time cutting it down to thirty. It’s amazing what the right pose and lighting can do. The photos I chose are being put into a small magazine album that my hubby can keep in his desk or briefcase. I also got him a 5×7 headshot for his desk.

I think every women who feels comfortable should have boudoir photos taken. Don’t let your weight, cellulite, or stretch marks stop you. All your best attributes will be bought out in the hands of a gifted and seasoned photographer. You don’t even have to do it for your husband. Do it for yourself. You’re worth it!

Here is the untouched top half of one of my photos. I want to have some control over who sees it so if you want to see the rest I have it password protected. Email me at slackermomof4 at yahoo dot com for the password. If I don’t know you or you don’t have a blog so I can check you out then don’t expect to get the password. Don’t be shy, my friends. It’s a very tasteful and artistic photograph.

The Parent Bloggers Network recently offered up a gig with Vocalpoint. I didn’t hesitate at jumping on board since I’ve been a very happy member of Vocalpoint since February 2006.

What is this Vocalpoint thing, you ask?

Vocalpoint is a marketing service that offers relevant, provocative information about products and services. It’s a site to influence and learn from moms like us. They have message boards, focus groups, and surveys so us moms can have a say about products we have or want. The best part of Vocalpoint is the free samples and coupons they send their members. It’s not crappy stuff either. In the last month I’ve received the Meerkat Manor DVD and buy one get one free Vanilla Coke coupons. They are very generous with their coupons and will send you several so you can share them with friends and family. Or keep them for yourself which I admit I’ve done if it’s something I buy often.

Signing up is easy peasy lemon squeezy. No spam or bad side effects. I promise. Would slackermommy steer you wrong?

So what does this have to do with me needing a vacuum cleaner? Here’s the deal. The blogger with the most sign ups will win a Roomba vacuum and I really need one. My current vacuum is older than God and barely picks up because it’s so clogged with dog hair, Polly Pocket pieces, crushed Goldfish, and some unidentifiable petrified objects. Would you please help out a slacker mom? I’m asking nicely. Who doesn’t like getting free stuff? It’s a win-win situation, my peeps.

Don’t make me beg.

Pretty please.

Here is the update to the update of my Smart Discipline post.

The charts continue to work really well for Isabelle and Connor. Their behavior has greatly improved with their quest to not get any X’s on their charts. Madeline of course had to find a loop hole in the chart but is quickly finding out that mommy means business this time.

Saturday was an exhausting day of dealing with her trying to get her way. Her tantrums must have pooped her out because she didn’t put up too much of a fight about not having a pillow and blanket at bedtime. She did fight me on it last night though. I had to really fight the urge to give in as she tried to convince me that she should earn them back since she did eventually make her bed. Every time I thought My God, what kind of mother sends her kid to bed without a pillow and blanket? I reminded myself of how it would set us back and I’ve come too far to let that happen. This is such an important learning lesson for us both.

It wasn’t easy though. She begged, pleaded, wheeled and dealed. I just kept ignoring her and it was hard. She cried and pretended to shiver in an attempt to play on my heart strings. Once she tired of the charade that was not getting her any attention she wrapped herself in the fitted sheet and used her stuffed dog as a pillow. She eventually fell asleep and I was quite proud of myself for not giving in.

But the child does not give up. Around 1 am she woke me up and asked for a blanket because she was scared. I assured her that she was safe then reminded her that she is the one who chose to not have a blanket. I rolled over and ignored her as she continued to whine for a blanket. Eventually she gave up and went back to bed. If she hasn’t realized by now that I mean business then she is more stubborn than I thought.

I feel good that I’m moving in a more positive direction with disciplining my kids and getting more cooperation from them. I hope that it will help lower my stress. I let myself get so overwhelmed with all that I put on my plate that I become resentful and irritable. I have an amazing ability to multitask and to do it effortlessly. But only for so long before I hit a breaking point and have to take a step back and breathe. Yesterday was one of those days. My family has gotten comfy with my ability to take a lot on that they often take me for granted. I had a moment where I think they all saw me as a human being rather than a super hero.

The day actually was going okay although busy. I was quite productive despite the fact that my hubby was gone most of the day either running errands, dropping by his office, and mowing the yard. I like to call it “hiding” but I’ll save that for another post.

Not only do I have my four kids to take care of but there is a neighbor girl, Kimberly, that spends more time at my home rather than her own. She minds me pretty well but I have had some issues. At times it gets to me that she’s over so much, that I’m feeding her, and parenting her as if she were my own. I do it because it concerns me that she would rather be at our house. I’m not going to make any judgement calls about her family but my mommy gut tells me that there may be issues in her home and because of that I can’t let myself deny her our home. I was a little kid living in an abusive home. I would have loved to have had a safe place to go visit everyday and get a taste of some normalcy. I guess there’s a part of me that feels she needs us.

So I had my four kids plus Kimberly hanging out at the house all day. I managed to keep the house picked up, do a few loads of laundry, a few other mundane tasks, get everyone fed, and referee a few squabbles. You know the typical stuff that moms do. It didn’t get crazy until after dinner. I had to run to the grocery store or else my kids would have to take mayonnaise sandwiches on bread heels to school for lunch. I don’t normally go to the store at that time because it’s the “bewitching hour”. I would have gone earlier but hubby had to hide go into the office for a couple hours.

When I got back he brought the groceries in while I got our older girls started on their homework. Within minutes everything fell apart. Our older kids had been at the neighbor’s house while I was shopping. Her bunnies had gotten loose in the house and she needed them to help her catch them. This neighbor calls during the bewitching hour to inform me that Isabelle did not clean up her mess before going home. So I tell her that I will send Isabelle right over but it turns out that Madeline had cleaned it up already. I’m thinking Okay, so what’s the problem? She tells me that my hubby should have made them clean up when he came over to get them and I’m thinking Why didn’t you remind them to clean it up? You’ve never had a problem before giving them a reminder. I tell her I will talk to my hubby about it and hang up thinking What the ? I’m so tired of trying to figure out what makes people do some of the things they do. I discussed it with hubby and he ended up apologizing to Madeline for sending her over to clean up without Isabelle, blah, blah, blah.

Now I was feeling very irritated. Irritated at my hubby for his lax and inconsistent parenting style and even more irritated at my neighbor. Not only did she point out my hubby’s parental mistake but she asked me to list some things on Ebay for her because she’s too busy. She’s too busy? What am I? Bored? Do I appear to have extra time on my hands?

At this point my hubby takes over putting the groceries away because he’s feeling like he got in trouble. I unsuccessfully get the girls started on their homework. Hubby is attempting to stand his ground with Connor that he can’t have a snack because he chose to not eat his dinner. There’s crying and yelling. Then the puppy pisses on the floor. I clean up the pee and back to the girls who are both vying for my time. Madeline is arguing with me that how I do math is not how her teacher does it while Marigrace gets a hold of the markers and writes on Isabelle’s paper who is now screaming, “The baby wrote on my paper!” I suggest to hubby to put Connor and Marigrace in the tub but then remember that I still had not cleaned the poop out of the tub. Hubby gives me that you-still-haven’t-cleaned-the-poop? look and I start feeling my blood pressure rise. I go clean the tub while Connor follows me into the bathroom with a box of waffles. Daddy won’t let him have them so now he starts working on me. I tell him no and to take the box back to the kitchen. He refuses so I start yelling which makes me feel so out of control. I return to the kitchen. Madeline finishes homework and then asks if we could do the soda geyser thingy with Mentos. I remind her that I bought it as a special treat and she lost the privilege of special treats. She takes it well then asks if she can have a caramel apple. I said yes. Hubby tells her she can’t have it because it’s a special treat. Madeline turns to me for clarification because originally snacks weren’t included in the special treat privileges. I’m looking at my hubby like dude, why would you tell her she can’t have it after I tell her she can? I can see how he would think it would be considered a special treat but he could have clarified it with me later rather than in front of Madeline. Now I’m really irritated.

I check on Isabelle. She’s just about done with her homework but is whining about not doing the last page because it’s too hard. Hubby asks me a question and I snap back. He wants to know why I’m being so crabby. I tell him that I feel stressed and he responds with, “What are you stressed about?” Which basically means: You don’t work, you get to stay home with your kids, you have complete control of the checkbook, what could you possibly be stressed about? Right then I felt the sting of tears. I tried to hold them back but Isabelle notices and asks if I’m going to cry.

Then there was a hush.

No crying baby.

No whining kids.

No annoying husband.

No peeing puppy.

Mommy has a breaking point and she has reached it. It has been building for some time.

Isabelle hugs me and Madeline slides a note across the table that reads: Sorry mom you are strest. And I hope you know I love you. We hug and I assure everyone that I’m just tired.

Suddenly there was a shift in the house. Isabelle became cooperative about finishing her homework. Hubby got the bath and shower going without prompting and everyone was talking nice to one another.

How sad that I had to be pushed to my breaking point for my family to see that sometimes mommy can’t handle it all. I really hate that they saw me break. It makes me feel weak. It makes me doubt myself.

Our society doesn’t want moms to view motherhood as ever being stressful and God forbid talk about the dark side of it. But trying to conform to that is stressing me out. It should be okay for me to admit that I can’t always do it all and although I love being a mom there are times that really suck. I wish more moms admitted that they get overwhelmed at times or have moments where they want to run away from it all. I’m not writing this to complain or be whiny but for the moms who get stressed or overwhelmed from it all. I want you to know that you are not alone. Especially if you have a child with special needs. I know what you are going through. You deserve permission to vent, complain, and get a break from it.

I digress. I didn’t mean for this to turn into a soapbox and I apologize for this being so disorganized. On a side note I have found something that has magical powers to stop a tantrum instantly. Videotape the tantrum! Madeline had a tantrum today so I pulled out my camera and before I could push the record button the tantrum magically stopped. Isn’t that interesting? This tactic wasn’t quite as effective when she was younger but now she’s now old enough to worry about it ending up on You Tube.

If you have read this far, I thank you. I’m just about finished but I have an unrelated question. My ten year wedding anniversary is coming up and I need suggestions as to what to give my hubby. I’m considering giving him boudoir photos of myself but it’s pricey. I’m not sure if it’s worth it although if they can airbrush my cellulite and make my ass smaller I’ll pay them whatever they want. I asked my hubby what he wants and he claims he doesn’t want anything outside of sexual favors.

I of course had my list ready when he asked. I want diamonds, lipo, or new carpet. He can choose which one I deserve the most but I’d prefer to have all three!

My family is letting me out of the house tomorrow night! They are unchaining me from my torture chamber, pushing me out the door and telling me to not let the door hit me in the ass as they send me out for some me time. They realize that their torturing me with their fighting, nagging, whining, and constant demands has made me very crabby. And boy do I need it! My kids are exhausting me and school does not start for another couple of weeks. There’s too much togetherness going on and we all need a little breathing space.

Tomorrow night I get to go out and not be a mom or a caretaker of a dying dog and have some fun. I’m meeting a few St. Louis bloggers for dinner and I would like to extend the invitation to any other bloggers who are in the area that would like to go. What would make my night extra special is if the lovely bitches that I bonded with at BlogHer would join us. My guest room is all ready for you. It could be a slumber party. We could get drunk and immature then skinny dip in the pool. Pretty please, won’t you come? I’m asking nicely.

Shauna has reminded me that I forgot to post my BlogHer business card as promised. Here it is. I think only those who read my blog understand the items on my “receipt”.

I’m afraid my Sonny Boy is going faster than expected. In the last few days I’ve noticed some swelling on the bridge of his nose which means the tumor is growing that fast. On a positive note he’s still eating and will engage in play. He takes a dip in the pool every morning:

We are assuming he’s having pain and have started him on pain meds. We are doing our best to give him Doggie Heaven here on earth before he goes to the real one.

I’m quite sad about losing our Sonny Boy so I pass the time with things that make me laugh. I recently watched the webisodes from In The Motherhood. I had been avoiding watching them because I was bitter that my story didn’t get picked but I’m over it now. Have you seen them? They are hysterical! I can so relate. Episode 5 is my favorite but the airplane, chapstick, and poop incidents in the other episodes are also worthy of a mention. I love Kim’s list of priorities to her hubby, Matt.

1. Me time
2. Fabric time
3. Matt time

I could so hang out with these gals. Heather is my idol!

Watching the webisodes sparked a conversation between me and my sis about how moms should be more supportive. I know I have gotten on this soapbox before but you are going to hear it again. It’s an important message. Why aren’t moms more supportive of one another? Are we so insecure in our own parenting that when we see another mom struggling that standing in judgement of her makes us feel better?

My sis had an incident yesterday while out to lunch with her two and four year old. The two year old was a handful for her. Another mom watched my sis struggle to get a control of the situation. To make it worse she pulled her child close and cuddled her as if to make a point of her perfect mother-child relationship.

I hate when moms are judgemental and non-supportive. Why is it so hard to give a sympathetic glance or words of encouragement? If you can’t do that then look away. Act as if you don’t notice.

My sis got an opportunity today to make a mom feel less stressed and incompetent. The mom was trying to leave her child at camp but he was having a major meltdown about her leaving. He cried to the point that he threw up. The other moms stood in horror as if their child never throws up. My sis was the only one to give her a sympathetic look and say, “It’s okay. It happens to all of us.”

Whenever my kids act up and I feel those judgemental glances it makes the situation so much more stressful for me. The more stressed I am the more my kids pick up on it which causes them to act out more and for me to get more stressed. I end up looking like an incompetent Joan Crawford.

To make my sis feel better I told her about an incident where I completely lost it. I was at story time at a book store with three of my kids who were all under three and a half. That in itself is stressful. The baby needed to be nursed and just as I’m putting him on all Hell broke loose. My other two started to fight over a book. My attempt to stop it was failing. I got stressed which kept my milk from letting down. The baby was crying, my nineteen month old was screaming to be held, and my three year old was having a full blown temper tantrum on the floor. I put screaming baby in the sling, nineteen month old on hip and attempted to pick up the screaming one when she kicked me in the face. That was the last straw. I could feel all the other moms staring at me and of course in my mind they were also whispering about me. My head did a 360 and as I spewed green vomit I yelled, “WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!” Definitely not one of my finer moments.

Now pass me a chokeable.

I feel so compelled to thank all my blogging friends for their emails and comments of support in regards to my last post. You really know how to lift a girl when she’s feeling down. My friendship and sense of community that I have formed with you has been such an unexpected surprise from blogging. I have put myself out there; heart and soul and you have embraced me warmly. Thank you.

I’m also sending out a shout out to my good friend Vicki. We met several years ago when our daughters began dancing together but we didn’t get close until this past year. Now I’m having a girl crush on her because I love spending time with her and can’t wait to see her next. She has to be one of the funniest women I have ever met. She helps me embrace my inner child with her goofiness. We are so immature together that we embarrass our girls. What’s more fun than embarrassing your children? I laugh so much with her that my face and stomach muscles ache. Do you have a friend like that? You should. It’ll keep you young.

I wrote out two examples of our immaturity and goofiness but it didn’t read as funny as it was. They were those had-to-be-there kind of moments. Basically they had to do with me holding up a bottle of massage lotion that relieves PMS while shopping at a bath and body store. I called out to Vicki across the store that I found a massage lotion to help her PMS. The look on a girl standing in the checkout line was priceless! Later while sitting in my car Vicki caught me telling and itsy bitsy teeny weeny lie to a friend’s answering service. Her laughing caused me to start laughing so I pretended to cough and hung up the phone. I laughed so hard that I farted which sent us into the kind of laughing where you feel you can’t breathe. Then we nearly peed our pants from laughing so hard. See? You had to be there.

Vicki is an up and coming YouTube celebrity. Here is a video of her that cracks me up. I love her facial expressions. Thank you Vicki for being such a great friend.

I had a crazy busy weekend with Madeline’s dance competition, baseball games, and birthday parties. It didn’t help that hubby seemed to be having his man period. I’m guessing he got mad at me for yelling at him on the phone while he was picking up pizza from a local pizza parlor. He doesn’t communicate well and it was a stupid miscommunication. As usual he chose the passive-aggressive approach and was aloof towards me for the next two days. Thankfully his man periods don’t last long and he was back to following me around like a dog in heat by Sunday. Even though his groping can get on my nerves I do miss his groping when he’s on his man period but don’t tell him that. They certainly are wired differently than we are. Sex must be on their brains ALL the time. Will the guys that read me enlighten me on this subject. And what’s with thinking that all our issues can be fixed with sex? If I tell hubby I don’t feel well he replies “I got something that will make you feel better” or if I’m stressed I get “You need sex.” Sex may be his fix-all for everything but I just don’t work that way. In fact sex can sometimes stress me out because it’s another thing to do on my things to do list. Also, why do guys think we want to see their penis all the time? Are they hoping that by them flashing us that we’ll suddenly get the urge? That may work for them but I need a little more than a flash of a flaccid penis to get me hot and bothered. Do you remember the SNL skit of the dick in the box? Only a man would think a women would want his dick in a box for a gift. Here’s the video. Thank you Sara for reminding me of this one.

Here’s my all time favorite SNL skit with Alec Baldwin. It’s the one about Shweddy Balls. I don’t know how they kept from laughing on this one because no matter how many times I watch it I laugh just as hard. You know what’s sad though? I actually used to wear those gawdy Christmas sweaters that they are wearing in the skit.

In other news, Madeline’s team did well at dance competition. They took first place in tap, jazz, and lyrical. Second place for super group production and ballet. Here are some photos because I don’t think I’ve bored you enough with the one’s I’ve posted over the last two weeks.

Lastly, I have a warning about Fiber One bars. They are the best tasting granola bar that I’ve ever had but they’ll give you a severe case of toxic butt syndrome. On the flip side they make a great excuse to get out of nookie with the hubby. I don’t need to use the I-have-a-headache excuse. All I have to say is, “Sorry honey, not tonight, I ate a Fiber One bar” and my hubby goes running.

A few days ago I wondered what was wrong with people. Today I’m wondering what’s wrong with my kids. Yesterday my three oldest were playing together in the front yard. They were awful quiet. It had been at least ten minutes since one of them summoned me to referee a fight so I peeked out the window to check on them. What did I find? To my horror I caught my oldest running around with her pants down in the front yard for all neighbor’s to see! I screamed for them to get their little behinds in the house, NOW! They immediately came running because they knew they were in trouble. Totally busted. They were playing Truth or Dare and dared each other to run around the yard with their pants down. I was mortified. It wasn’t until later that night after I calmed down that I was able to laugh about it. Where’s the modesty? Did the neighbors see? Are my kids going to be labeled “the bad kids”? What the Hell were they thinking? Shouldn’t my oldest, Madeline had known better? I don’t know why I’m so shocked considering Madeline is the child who dropped her pants and shit in the yard like a damn dog when she was six. At least that was in the BACK yard. Some days I’m just not so sure that I’m up for this parenting gig. Please tell me your kids have done things like this. I can’t be the only one.

Don’t forget to vote for me. Not that I think I’ll win but my ego is needing a little stroking today.

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