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Last week I went on a school field trip and opted to follow the bus with one of the other mothers rather than ride. We got into a conversation about our girls approaching the teen years and I bragged that since I was such a bad girl as a teen that my kids wouldn’t get much passed me. After all I had done it all.

I stand corrected.

Later that day I happened upon a conversation about what kids are doing now to get drunk. One of the mothers had recently caught her daughter and her friends inserting vodka soaked tampons vaginally. They had seen a You Tube video about it being a quick way to get drunk and escape their parents smelling alcohol on their breath. Boys can get the same effect by inserting the tampon rectally. I’m shocked that boys would even be willing to do this since most of them are a bit weird about having anything up the poop chute. And does it really prevent alcohol breath? I’m a nurse and I know that alcohol in the bloodstream is also absorbed by the lungs so I would think you could still smell it. This little trick certainly wouldn’t fool a Breathalyzer. I hate to think that not only will parents need to smell their kids breath for alcohol but also have them bend over for a whiff.

So be aware if your daughter is going through a large amount of tampons or your son suddenly doesn’t mind picking up a box of tampons for you or his sister. You can bet I’m going to tell my daughters horror stories of death from alcohol poisoning not to mention drunk eggs now mean babies that aren’t right later.

*updated*
I did a search on You Tube and it seems to be called “slimming”.

Seriously. For $15.95 you can purchase the ultimate Hell getaway package which includes:

• Demonic issued certificate of reservation, officially registered in Satan’s Log™ and prepared on flame-proof material.
• A one way, free-fall ticket to Hell. What better way to get there then a non-stop, direct drop?
• The Official Hell Identification Card so you can get around without getting hassled.
• Hell 101 mini informational guide, outlining things you need to know to survive the nightmare.
• All access VIP pass. This pass will grant you access to “VIP exclusive areas” including the Frozen Wasteland, the Lake of Fire and the Bridge of Dead, where all the hotties get together and kick it.

Reserveaspotinhell.com asks what sounds better, singing songs and reading books in Heaven or taking shots with strippers in Hell?

The site boasts that Less than 0.000001% of our reservation holders have had problems getting themselves or someone else  into Hell.

Fiery damnation not your thing? Then reserve a spot in Heaven. What sounds better to you, eternal happiness or endless damnation? They even offer a 100% money back guarantee.

Seem a bit blasphemous? Just a bit. I was a little uncomfortable when I first happened upon the sites but then I saw the humor and how these “kits” would make a great gag gift. What does bother me is that they are actually charging for these kits. I think I would feel better about poking fun at Heaven and Hell if the proceeds were going to charity.

Maybe I’m just jealous that I didn’t think of it.

Nah, I don’t think I could sleep at night knowing I was playing God. I wouldn’t want to tick Him off and the worry of people at church finding out what I was selling would not be worth it.

Just goes to show you can sell just about anything with the right marketing. Maybe these  are the same guys who came up with the Pet Rock.

What do you think of this?

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